Dune (2021)

 (SPOILER WARNING!!)

I would like to preface this review by saying that, while I was aware of this franchise by sci-fi author Frank Herbert, I never knew of the deeper history behind the original book and the various attempts that were made in making a cinematic adaptation of the story. I hadn't even read the book before I was made aware of this version being directed by Denis Villeneuve, and even then it was because my older brother had recommended it to me on the basis that it was not just a great sci-fi novel but a great novel in general. Thus far, I have read 364 out of the 529 pages (not counting the 4 different appendices at the end) in this book. I have otherwise never seen the David Lynch film from 1984, the Sci-Fi Channel mini-series from the early 2000s, or the documentary from 2013 recounting why Alejandro Jodorowsky's version never saw the light of day.

With all of that said, however, I still wanted to see how this film would turn out based not only on the research I've done into the different adaptations that were attempted since the publication of the book, but also because of how said book has gone on to influence so many other sci-fi stories; including Star Wars, Star Trek, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, and Futurama. It also helps that I really enjoyed what I've read of the book thus far, especially with the worldbuilding and characterisation being incredibly fascinating to a newcomer like me. And with the reveal that this film will cover only the first half of the book, I was fully confident in Villeneuve's vision for the movie, with the director having already proved his talent with 2013's Prisoners and 2017's Blade Runner 2049 (though I only watched half of the latter before quitting as I never cared for the original film to begin with).

Thankfully, having now seen this film on the U.K opening date, I can confirm that I am hyped for part 2 to come out in the next few years... provided that people don't continue to act stupid in regards to COVID.

Plot:

The titular Dune is the nickname of the planet Arrakis, a desolate desert planet populated by not only a warrior race known as the fremen, but also by 400ft-long sandworms that are drawn to any rhythmic thumping on the sand. Arrakis, however, is the only planet in the known universe to produce a valuable spice called melange, which not only extends the lifespan of those who ingest or inhale it, but also has the potential of gifting people with pre-cognitive abilities. It has also been used in developing space travel, as it can be used to bend space to allow super fast transportation from one end of the universe to the other in an instant.

This brings us to the far-flung future, where the noble House Atreides, lead by the just Duke Leto (played by Oscar Isaac), has been given the unenviable duty of watching over the production of melange on Arrakis after it was controlled by their embittered rivals; House Harkonnen, ruled by the ruthless Baron Vladimir (played by Stellan Skarsgard). As revealed during their stay, however, this was in fact all a trap set by the emperor Shaddam IV (played by Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Film), as he was seeing House Atreides becoming increasingly popular with the people and became paranoid that they would attempt to seize his throne. Thus, he has partnered with the Baron to send in their forces in order to wipe out House Atreides, succeeding in wiping out most of their army and Leto killing himself with a poison gas capsule in his teeth in an attempt to assassinate the Baron.

His sole heir, Paul Atreides (played by Timothee Chalamet), escapes with his mother Lady Jessica (played by Rebecca Ferguson) as they decide to seek out the fremen to join forces with them so that they can take revenge on House Harkonnen; all the while Paul deals with frequent glimpses into the future thanks to exposure to melange and he begins questioning just what kind of powers he has, as well as what destiny lies ahead of him on Arrakis.

Pros:

The cast in this movie is absolutely spectacular, with each actor capturing the essence of their characters to near perfection. At first I wasn't entirely sure how to feel about Timothee Chalamet as Paul Atreides, as this version seems to have been aged-up from the books age of 15. But he was able to sell his performance as Paul with the Gom Jabbar scene, wherein he has to place his hand inside of a box that will fill him the sensation of pain while a poisoned needle was held to his neck. He not only perfectly conveys the kind of excruciating pain that the task entailed in the book, but he also captures the characters mental fortitude which allowed him to pass the test without retracting his hand from the box.

The rest of the cast did a great job in portraying these now iconic literary characters as well. Oscar Isaac once again showed his fantastic range as Leto Atreides, Josh Brolin made for a somewhat sterner yet still amiable version of Gurney Halleck, Jason Mamoa was surprisingly funny as Duncan Idaho, and I felt that Chang Chen was pretty much born to play Dr Yueh with all of the tragedy and betrayal that the character traditionally entails. But the one who stole the show for me was Stellan Skarsgard as Baron Vladimir Harkonnen; not only is the make-up for the fat suit really convincing, but Skarsgard is pretty much flawless as the Baron. He's cunning, manipulative, ruthless, and has an ever present sense of intimidation and power that you don't want to mess with. He doesn't appear in the film that often, but he is almost always the central focal point whenever he is on screen.

And at the very least, he doesn't look like THIS:

Though weirdly, I can kind of see this diseased-ridden lunatic as the actual paedophile compared to the newer film (which, thankfully, cut that part of his characterisation out).

But back to the pros of this movie; it is a visual spectacle. Denis Villeneuve is somehow able to make Arrakis look both beautiful and daunting all at the same time. We get a great sense of how truly massive this place is, with the various scenes of the characters flying around in their ornithopters (which look spot on, incidentally) and Villeneuve's excellent direction makes the planet feel truly massive and desolate. This is especially true when we get to see how truly ginormous the sandworms can be in the scene where one attacks a spice harvester. The correct use of angles and perspective shots make the human characters look like ants in comparison to the sandworms, while also giving Arrakis a sense of personality as a dangerous place to be for anyone who dares take up the challenge of watching over it. It really is a toss-up between this and Shang-Chi for the best cinematography of the year.

And to further compliment how great of a director Denis is, one of the things I've always enjoyed about his work is his ability to create brilliant visual exposition; there are a lot of moments in this film where he truly captures the atmosphere from the book and can immediately tell you the basics of what you should know just in the ways that he presents the characters. A moment that stuck out to me was when Paul was exposed to an insane amount of melange in the first sandworm scene; there is very little dialogue, most of the shots focus on his facial expressions, and the general slowness of the scene creates a sense of both mystery and intrigue, which is definitely needed in a story that is known for doing a smart subversion of the "chosen one" narrative.

This film is also very clearly a passion project, as it not only hits the expected story beats from the book, but it is able to portray virtually 1-1 recreations of the scenes from the book. The first sandworm scene is a great example of such, but then you have the smaller stuff that otherwise would've been cut if there was a larger sense of studio interference. We have the scene where Shadout Mapes gives Lady Jessica a crysknife, the scene where Liet Kynes (genderswapped to be played by Sharon Duncan Brewster) provides Paul and Lady Jessica sanctuary after the attack, the scene with Paul's vision of the fremen spreading their religious war across the universe, the scene where Stilgar (played by Javier Bardem) meets with Duke Leto, the scene where the Reverend Mother (played by Charlotte Rampling) discusses the idea of Paul being the Kwisatz Haderach; the film even ends on the scene where Paul defeats Jamis in a duel and is then accepted as a member of the fremen. If I am correct, most of these scenes were not in the David Lynch version, which is baffling to me as most of these scenes not only create a much more interesting world for the characters to inhabit, but also gives more layers to the characters to make them more tangible to the audience. Small details like this always matter in a larger picture, is all I'm saying.

Cons:

I'll be honest; any issues I have with this movie are purely nit-picking. Whatever cons I point out in regards to the film can either just be personal things, or can just be explained by me not having finished the book yet.

But with that said, I want to start with who I feel is the least interesting character in the movie

Chani (played by Zendaya) is the only character in this film that I personally could not get invested in, which is honestly a shame. Like the rest of the cast, Zendaya is putting in a really good performance as the character. The problem comes down to 2 main things. Firstly, she is barely in large chunk of the movie. The most we see of her before the end is in Paul's visions of Arrakis, wherein she's either walking around in a gown or is kind of just standing there looking at Paul. And secondly, when he finally meets her in person, the interactions between the pair are very brief as they basically jump straight into the fight between Paul and Jamis as soon as we meet up with the fremen. It feels kind of rushed in a film that otherwise takes its time in getting from one story point to the next.

Admittedly, that's also all I've seen of her in the book thus far; but seeing as how this is an adaptation of a well-known and highly regarded piece of sci-fi literature, one would think Chani's transition from book to film could help in making her a more interesting character. I'm not asking to have her supersede Paul as the protagonist; I just wish there was more to this character than what is currently presented. I guess I'll have to wait for part 2 to see what else, if anything, they do with her.

I also think that there were some scenes from the book that also could've made it into the film to help establish of the empire that exists in this universe, as well as give an idea as to what the emperor himself is like. One of my favourite scenes from the book involves Duke Leto hosting a dinner party for other nobles, some of whom questioning Leto's choice to share water with the fremen and changing certain societal customs. This, once again, was a great worldbuilding scene and was used for Jessica and Paul to see which noble can be trusted after there are suspicions of a traitor in the castle. I don't necessarily think the movie is ruined for not having this scene, but even with a longer runtime this could've been an excellent means of showcasing the characters intelligence and informing the audience more about the empire.

Not to mention, there is ONE scene that easily could've made it into the film; Lady Jessica and Thufir Hawat (played by Stephen McKinley Henderson) being incredibly distrustful of each other and airing their grievances. This was a vital scene in the book, as both were accessing each other through their respective training as a Bene Gesserit and a Mentat and deciding whether or not they could trust each other. Thus, in the aftermath of the attack, Thufir believes that Lady Jessica was the traitor and swears to have her made an example of due to his anger. This scene tells us so much about these two characters and their dynamics, and yet it's not at all featured in the movie.

Speaking of which, Thufir, one of the most pivotal characters from the book, is also given very little to do in the movie. In the book, he is unfathomably loyal to Duke Leto and is constantly cautious of his suspicion that Lady Jessica is the traitor hiding among them. And when the Baron takes over Arrakis, he is slowly made their slave after they put in a permanent poison without his knowledge and only give food and drink laced with the antidote if he serves them, slowly breaking him to follow the orders of the man ultimately responsible for killing Leto while still believing that Jessica had a hand in the House Atreides falling. In the movie, however, he only really appears a few times and is never seen again after the Harkonnens invade. There's never any sense that he suspects Lady Jessica, nor is there any lip service to say that he is being enslaved by the Baron. Kind of a missed opportunity, really.

Also, as my brother pointed out; WHERE WAS GURNEY'S BASSINET?!

Conclusion:

Nit-picks aside, I honestly think that Denis Villeneuve's Dune is one of the best sci-fi movies in the last decade, as well as a top contender for best film of the year. The atmosphere and worldbuilding is top notch, the cast do an incredible job with the roles they are given, the direction is a visual marvel, and it's accuracy to the source material is absolutely commendable. I'm glad that I saw this movie in the theatres, and I will happily pay to see a sequel on the day that it comes out. This is a story that modern audiences need to see, especially if it is done a effortlessly as Denis makes it look.

Overall rating: 9 out of 10 (Great).

Regardless, thanks for reading. Be sure to share this one social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc) and leave a comment letting me know what you think. I'm also on Twitter and Instagram (both under Media Hood Reviews) and I'd appreciate it if you check out my YouTube channel (also Media Hood Reviews). Be sure to subscribe and a ring the bell for when a video goes up.

But until next time, because there always will be one; this is Callum Lewis, the Media Hood, signing off!

Transformers War For Cybertron: Kingdom (2021)

 (SPOILER WARNING!!)

Another day, another Transformers show to watch on Netflix.

I think that it's no secret by now that the "War For Cybertron" trilogy has not exactly been successful with the fans. With "Siege" not leaving a good first impression, and "Earthrise" only compounding the issues with it's storytelling and characterisation, I couldn't find that many people who were entirely excited for the conclusion of this storyline; "Kingdom". As good as the toyline itself has been thus far (which, full discrepancy, has been excellent despite a few blunders), the main reason I would get excited for Transformers is with the accompanying fiction. If the show/movie doesn't work, then my enthusiasm for the toyline will only give so much leeway if I'm disappointed.

Unfortunately, although I had a glimmer of hope for what was essentially a "Beast Wars" revival, what we got was more along the lines of the quality of "Beast Machines" instead.

Let me just go over the plot and I'll get into my issues with this show.

Plot:

The story picks up immediately after the end of "Earthrise", with the Ark and the Nemesis landing on prehistoric Earth where the Allspark has taken residence. But upon arrival to the planet, they come across two other factions of Transformers; the Maximals, led by Optimus Primal, and the Predacons, led by Megatron (who is sadly NOT voiced by David Kaye). They are Transformers who ended up on the planet from the future, coming from a Cybertron that has gone desolate and is under the tyrannical rule of Galvatron and Nemesis Prime, who are in turn trying to escape the grasp of their master and creator; the planet devouring Unicron. Thus, the race is on to get the Allspark back to Cybertron, as both are symbiotically linked, meaning that one will die without the other if they are not reunited in time (despite that never being a factor until now).

Pros:

As per usual with these shows, the animation models themselves are really good; with the Autobot and Decepticons being spitting images of their current action figures for good and for ill. That said, however, I found it odd that the Maximals and Predacons, with exception to Rattrap, aren't based off of their toy designs; they instead opted for something more akin to the original show models with slight IDW influence due to the harsher angles and blockier aesthetics. They still look good on screen, and I wonder if that was done intentionally to contrast with the somewhat more slender WFC designs for the Autobots and Decepticons.

The action scenes themselves had a good energy to them, though I can understand when people say that the movement speed should be up to 1.5x. There are moments when the action tends to slow down a little, but never to the point of feeling like there's constant, unnecessary slow-motion to drag the pacing to a crawl. Besides, there's still a decent balance between the gunfights and hand-to-hand combat to keep things interesting, especially as the Maximals and Predacons tend to use more guerrilla-style dirty fighting during their action scenes.

I also felt that they more or less got the basics when it came to the personalities a couple of the Beast-Era characters, more specifically Dinobot and Blackarachnia. We still see the former eventually defect from Megatron and recognise the value of honour and integrity over simple loyalty to a cause in a war, all leading to his sacrifice to save the day and get the heroes to the Allspark. It's simple compared to his departure in the original series, but at least the intent was there and the voice acting for him wasn't overtly terrible. As for Blackarachnia, she begins the series as scheming and manipulative, until she eventually joins the heroes in fighting off against a common foe; although, I felt like it was kind of rushed and there wasn't much downtime to really get into her interactions with the characters beyond Dinobot and Starscream.

Cons:

As much as I appreciate small things like Dinobots' characterisation, many of the same problems from the previous two entries are repeated and compounded here, with the most notable example being the voice acting. While it was irksome in "Siege" and "Earthrise" with how the voices sounded off and dreary, it's even worse in this series in how almost NONE of the Beast-Era characters voices fit, not even remotely. Optimus Primal sounds less like a confidant commander type who puts his trust in the strength of his team, and more like a distrustful douchenugget with barely withheld anger issues. Dinobot is lacking the signature gravel in his voice to give the character his unique gravitas and making certain call-back lines feel half-assed. And of course, as many of your are probably aware of by now, there's Megatron:

Ignore the portion that dubs over the voice, and let's get to the main problem; this voice SUCKS. Not only does it sound NOTHING like Beast-Era Megatron, but everything about it is simply wrong. The inflections, the pacing, the tone, the intonations; all of it is awful. This is easily the worst acting in the series, which is saying a lot when you remember good ol' Jake Foushee and his Optimus Prime voice.

And it certainly doesn't help that most of the Beast-Era cast are not only given very little to do in the grand scheme of things, but a lot of them have very little in terms of characterisation. Cheetor was more or less just there for the majority of the series, Rattrap only got a couple of attempts at any quips, Tigatron pointed a gun every once in a while, Airrazor was pretty much the token woman of the team, Rhinox only got to show off his scientific skills once, Megatron is just the G1 Megatron fanboy, and Scorponok was reduced to little more than the generic cannon fodder that the Maximals fought off in droves. I'm happy that my favourite characters, Dinobot and Blackarachnia, are at least given stuff to do and have actual personalities to work with, but not if it comes at the expense of the rest of the cast.

Speaking of, this show basically confirms that stuff happening back on Cybertron with Elita-One fighting against Shockwave was essentially completely pointless; because as soon as they're back on Cybertron, they find out that EVERYONE that stayed behind has died. Meaning that the following was a complete waste of time in the grand scheme of things and the time that it took up could've been used for more important aspects of the story:

• Elita-One freeing the prison camps.
• Jetfire lending a hand to the rebellion.
• Seeing Megatron syphon most of the planet's populace to power the Nemesis.
• Elita-One conflicting with Jetfire over their differing ideologies.
• Megatron and Elita-One arguing over factional loyalty.
• Imprisoned Decepticons helping Elita-One in the final battle.
• The final battle itself.
• Whatever Shockwave's plan was.

And finally:

• The destruction of Kaon with Elita-One inside of it.

In other words, the very existence of "Kingdom" renders all of the stuff in "Earthrise" that focuses on Cybertron completely unnecessary to even watch. More than half of the previous show is easily skipped over because of how ultimately irrelevant it was to the grand scheme of things.

There also isn't really a smooth integration of the Beast-Era cast into the story itself; they kind of just appear in the story and only briefly explain that they are from the future where Cybertron is even more of a desolate Pit-Hole. It's never explained HOW they came from the future, nor is it ever established how long they have been there; just that it has been a long time and that they are fighting each other. Furthermore, we never really get an idea as to why Beast-Era Megatron is such a G1 Megatron fanboy or why he went after the Golden Disk. In fact, the Golden Disk is hardly ever a part of the main story beyond somehow connecting to Galvatron and Unicron.

Speaking of, Galvatron and Nemesis Prime are very one-note villains with little actual involvement in the story. They just appear in the final episode, start attacking the main cast, and are instantly defeated via Primus Ex Machina before somehow ending up back in Unicron's grasp. Frankly, given how generic their personalities are, they could've been replaced by literally any other creation of Unicron (namely Cyclonus or Scourge) and virtually nothing else would've changed. They tried to pull something similar to Thorin from the Hobbit movies with Megatron slowly going insane before redeeming himself, possibly as an allusion to him becoming Galvatron in the future, except it doesn't work as both his turn to insanity and eventual attempt at redemption happen in an instant and is given very little actual lip service beyond what I had just described. It was wholly superfluous to include Galvatron and Nemesis in this because of how little they tied in to the series from a thematic and narrative standpoint.

Conclusion:

To be clear; this wasn't the worst Transformers series I have seen. I don't even think it's the worst of this trilogy; "Earthrise" beats it to that with how more than half of it's story and cast was virtually pointless by the end. But it still continues the exact same problems that the other instalments has had without doing anything to mediate them. We still have characters we don't care about with little personalities to endear the audience. We still have sub-par storytelling with everything either having little elaboration or little reason to be included. We still have mediocre voice acting from people who seem to have a lack of direction or input as to how they should deliver their lines beyond "sound as miserable as possible, even when cracking a joke", with Jake Foushee as Optimus Prime and Marcus Bobesich as Beast-Era Megatron being the biggest sinners in this regard. All of this culminates in what I feel is the worst thing about this entire trilogy; wasted potential.

This trilogy of shows honestly wouldn't be as widely disliked or even ignored were it not for all of the potential storytelling and characterisation directions being wasted on the default status quo that people unfamiliar with the franchise associates with it; a story about giant robots who turn into cars and trucks fighting each other. If these shows at least used the ideas that it had presented in a more effective way, then Netflix could've had a new flagship property to excel with now that the Marvel shows had been cancelled and reactions to the new "Masters Of The Universe" show has been mixed across the board. But with all of the time wasted on needless sub-plots that get little development and a severe lack of character development, we now have the modern generations equivalent to the Unicron trilogy; it started off weak, got worse in the middle, and just barely limped to the end.

And it's because of that, that I can't really recommend "Kingdom" or any other part of the trilogy unless you are a completionist like me. Otherwise, this is an easy skip.

Overall rating: 5 out of 10 (basically skippable).

If enjoyed this review, be sure to share on this social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc) and leave a comment letting me know what you thought. I would also be happy if you followed me on Twitter (@MediaHood23) and checked me out on Instagram (@mediahood23). And finally, be sure to check out my YouTube account (Media Hood Reviews) for toy and movie reviews on an inconsistent schedule because I tend to be a bit of a slacker.

But until next time, because there always will be one; this is Callum Lewis, the Media Hood, signing off!

Replacing The Knight

 (SPOILER WARNING!!)

I have incredibly mixed feelings about "Batman: Arkham Knight", both as a standalone story and as the conclusion to the otherwise excellent "Arkham" series in the Batman mythos. Let me just get my positives out of the way first.

There were several fun side-quests, most of the alternate costumes were cool, I really enjoyed some of the new combat features like the Dual Team Takedown, the voice acting was still top notch for a majority of the cast, and the graphics did a great job of capturing the atmosphere and feel of Batman's portion of the DC universe. And if nothing else, it did what it set out to do; it wrapped up the narrative for the "Arkham" series.

However, those were all the superficial elements, as the primary aspects of any storytelling medium that should get the most attention and development is the story and the characters. Unfortunately, both elements fell flat for me; with the story being a confusing mess with no clear direction or theme, and the characters felt more like one-note versions of who they are meant to be. The biggest offence in this regard would be with the villains trying to overtake Gotham just being barebones evil and Batman being a stubborn jerk who refuses help from people.

But by far the biggest issue I have with this game is with the primary villains; Jonathan Crane, a.k.a Scarecrow, and the titular Arkham Knight. The former hardly does much in the game beyond just popping up on giant billboards and waxing philosophically about fear and how he'll destroy the legend of the Batman. He says it's out of revenge for Batman leaving him to die at Arkham Asylum, except Batman didn't leave him to die; Killer Croc attacked him and clawed at his face, which resulted in Crane surgically altering his appearance to look like a scarecrow. Croc was even the one who, unintentionally, stopped Crane from dropping his bag of Fear Toxin into the river, which would've been detrimental to Croc as well as the rest of Gotham. Thus, Scarecrow's whole motivation for his revenge scheme makes absolutely no sense.

But worse off out of this story is the Arkham Knight himself. Initially, it was announced that he was a completely original character with no affiliation to anyone in the rest of the Batman mythos. This, of course, was an absolute lie, as it was revealed at the end of the second act that the Knight was actually Jason Todd; a.k.a, the former 2nd Robin and currently the Red Hood. And Jason's motivation for wanting to go after Batman is actually worse than Crane's; he believes that Bruce betrayed him by leaving him to die at the hands of the Joker in the Asylum, and so wants to kill Bruce as revenge. This, however, not only doesn't gel with Jason's characterisation from the comics, but also brings up Jason out of nowhere for the first time in the universe. Before this point, we didn't even know if Jason existed beyond a one-off reference in a Riddler challenge where you play as Tim Drake's Robin.

Normally, in the comics, Jason is bummed that Bruce didn't save him from the Joker's clutches and replaced him as Robin with Tim, but he ultimately forgave Bruce for that. Jason is only mad at Bruce for his refusal to kill criminals like the Joker, if only because he believes that's what lead to the pair being separated. That's what normally makes Jason such an interesting foil for Batman; the ideological divide over whether it's more effective to kill criminals instead of locking them away. We saw this in "Under The Red Hood", both the comic and the animated movie adaptation, and other iterations of the character outside of the comics has this same ideology; a willingness to use lethal force instead of sparing criminals.

They don't even bother giving Jason a proper redemption arc once his identity is revealed; we just beat him in the lamest boss fight in the series since the encounter with Deathstroke in "Arkham: Origins", and then he turns up later to free Bruce from Crane's clutches due to a sudden and off-screen change of heart. It stinks. Neither Crane or Jason should've been the main villains of the game due to a lack of any compelling motivations as well as generally sloppy storytelling and characterisation.

I don't have a problem with Jason being in the game, but not as a central antagonist. If they wanted to use Jason in the story as the Red Hood, there are two easy ways to go about it.

1) Have him as a side-quest, replacing the Deacon Blackfire one as that was completely pointless to the game. Have him still taunt Bruce about his identity and put him to a challenge of saving convicted criminals, all culminating in Jason revealing himself to Bruce and reveal that he's kidnapped Harley Quinn and plans to kill her for being the Joker's sidekick. From there, just have the scene play out like it does in "Under The Red Hood"; Bruce is given the choice to either shoot Jason to save Harley or leave and let Harley die, but he makes his own choice that saves Harley and stops Jason. Jason then tries to blow up the building they're in, he disappears, and Bruce just takes Harley to jail. Leave it ambiguous as to what happened to Jason, and maybe have a conversation where Harley confesses that she wanted no part in Joker killing Jason; give Harley some actual humanity instead of leaving her as the ditzy blonde sidekick to Joker's antics.

2) Just have Jason help the Bat-Family on certain quests. Let's say that, instead of Tim, Jason is at the Panessa Studios keeping an eye on the people infected with the Joker's blood. It would make more sense, as Jason could easily overpower them if they tried to escape, and he has a personal connection due to how it was the Joker's actions that led to Jason becoming the Red Hood in the first place.

But that then leaves two big questions:

1) If Jason isn't the Arkham Knight, then who is?

2) If Scarecrow isn't the villain, then who is?

Thankfully, I have the change needed that would not only give the viewers a decent mystery as to the Arkham Knight's identity, as well as clear up some plot holes, but would also give the series a much more thematically satisfying conclusion. But instead of simply giving it away right now, I'm going to lay the ground works leading up to the change and how it affects the progression of the narrative.

So let's get started with:

The General Plot (And more):

The basis for the games story remains pretty similar; Gotham will be evacuated thanks to a threat that also results in Gotham's villains running rampant and taking the city for themselves. But instead of Scarecrow giving the threat while showing off his latest Fear Toxin formula, it'll be the Arkham Knight threatening to kill every single person in that city unless his demands are met, thus starting his military invasion whilst Gotham is still evacuating. This immediately raises the stakes, and forces Batman to call in everyone to help in getting people out of Gotham as safely as possible. He'll have Nightwing, Red Robin, Spoiler (Stephanie Brown), Batgirl (Cassandra Cain), Red Hood, Catwoman (why not), Nightrunner (Bilal Alsselah), and Batwoman (Kate Kane) going around Gotham fighting off the various gangs working for the super-criminals while also assisting in the evacuation.

We could also show the members of the Bat-Family doing most of the side-quests and allowing Bruce more time to deal with the main threat at large; just show the side-quests in flashbacks with the framing device of being the Bat-Family members giving their reports to Bruce, not too dissimilar to the MJ and Miles Morales missions in the PS4 "Spider-Man" game. This at least makes it more plausible that Batman is able to stop whatever the Arkham Knight has planned in a single night, while also giving the chance to spotlight the dynamics between the various sidekicks that he has. For example, Jason and Tim could take down Harley's thugs as they try to take the various Joker infected prisoners for themselves, or we can see Nightwing and Spoiler teaming up to take down Penguins weapons caches, or even have Batwoman and Batgirl take down Man-Bat and Firefly. Even have Catwoman and Nightrunner taking down the Riddler to give the rookie a chance to shine. Mixing and matching these characters helps to give more variety and showcases Batman as someone who explicitly trusts his allies to help him.

Regardless, we can still have that bit at Ace Chemicals where Bruce rescues the workers and encounters the Arkham Knight (albeit this happens during the second Act instead of partway through the first), and their talk can be more or less the same; the Knight taunts Batman about his identity and how he plans to kill Batman after destroying his legacy. But a disguised voice stops the Knight from killing Bruce right there, as they want him to suffer a little bit more. The Knight reluctantly complies, and the rest of the mission play out as is. Only this time, as there is no Scarecrow in this game (or at least not as the main villain), the worry isn't that there is a massive Fear Toxin bomb that could encompass the entire East Coast in a cloud of fear, but rather a threat of a nuclear device that will detonate and destroy all of Gotham. This, however, was a trap set up by the Knight and his mysterious benefactor to trap Bruce inside the facility. There is no bomb, the facility doesn't even blow up; Bruce is just trapped there with no way out, allowing the Knight and the Militia to finish taking over Gotham. This is done to make Bruce look like a failure, as well as allow the Militia the chance to outnumber the rest of the Bat-Family.

It also allows the players the break they needed from one of the most controversial additions to the game; the Batmobile. I personally didn't hate it, but I completely understand where people are coming from when they say that too much of the game relies on using the Batmobile to get from one part of the story to the next. And with the absence of the Batmobile, I'm also bringing in another change; no unmanned tanks. The Militia are mainly using firearms and sword-fighters as the bulk of their forces, while still having specified soldiers like medics and heavy hitters. I'll explain why later.

Eventually, once the next round of side-quests are complete, one of the Bat-Family (let's go with Red Robin, because why not) is able to get into the facility and gets Bruce out. Bruce has been keeping track of everyone's progress, and is proud of them for keeping Gotham safe as best as they can without him. Once they get out, however, Bruce learns that the Knight is bringing in an even bigger army who are all out to get him, and starts investigating who the mysterious benefactor could be. After all, it's highly unlikely that someone like the Knight, who is obviously obsessive and unhinged, would be able to build an army on his own without any outside help. This investigation can have Bruce work more with Barbara (who won't be kidnapped in this version, because that was straight-up dumb in the game) to try and figure out the benefactor's deal. And as the story continues and the Bat-Family take down more of the super-criminals (I would specifically have Catwoman help stop Harley from obsessing over the Joker and guide her into a cell with Poison Ivy, who doesn't die because that too was dumb), eventually the benefactor is found and revealed to be...

A teenaged boy that looks like a young Bruce Wayne!

Bruce is confused by this, and questions the boy, who reveals that his name is actually Damian al Ghul, the artificially created grandson of Ra's al Ghul. He's the one who inherited the League Of Assassins after Ra's was impaled in Arkham City, and explains that he was created by the League as a combination of Bruce's and Talia al Ghul's DNA, making him Bruce's biological son. Suddenly, everything starts to click into place in Bruce's head; the Militia is a completely re-organised version of the League of Assassins, and they're here because Damian wants revenge for his mother's death in Arkham City, having made a deal with the Knight to complete his goal.

Meaning that the one who has been supplying the Knight with the forces he needs is none other that the most recent Robin in the comics; Damian Wayne. And it's not like this is unprecedented; in Arkham City, Talia mentioned how she and Bruce shared a night in Metropolis, so she could've gotten a sample of Bruce's DNA (whether it's his sperm or a strand of hair) and was able to use the technology at the League's disposal in order to combine it with her DNA and artificially create Damian as a potential heir to the League. And then, while Damian is being watched by another sect of the League outside of Arkham City, news reaches them and they learn of both Talia and Ra's being killed. All they know is that Batman was there and that the Lazarus Pit had been destroyed. Since he doesn't have the full details of what happened, Damian thinks that Bruce himself killed them and wants to see him dead.

There. A much better motivation for someone to take revenge on Batman than just "you left me to die" as well as one that more or less matches how Damian would act when someone he cares about is hurt or killed. In "Son Of Batman", the animated movie that introduced Damian into the DC Animated Movie universe, Talia is shot by Deathstroke and Damian tries to kill him in retaliation, only stopping because of Bruce's rule to never kill their enemies. But since in my version of the game Damian hasn't been raised or taught anything by Bruce, he doesn't have that stopping him from trying to kill Bruce for his mother's death. He knows of Bruce's no-kill rule, but refuses to abide by it because of how he was raised by the League of Shadows.

Speaking of, the use of the League as the Militia actually explains how the Knight has his army. In the game, it's never really explained how Jason was able to build a massive army of soldiers and unmanned drone tanks, not to mention all of the mines and watchtowers set up throughout the whole city. Using the League, however, answers that question; Damian is now in charge of the League and allies with the Knight to fulfil the common goal of destroying the Batman's legacy, the Knight specifically training several League members in modern weaponry/combat and medicine.

Anyways, that's more or less Damian's deal in this game; he's not necessarily evil, just incredibly misguided by the teachings of his grandfather while not coping with the grief brought on by losing his mother. But it's through the commonality of their love for Talia that Bruce can eventually talk Damian down from his revenge scheme. And if nothing else, Bruce can see this as the chance to honour Talia's memory by directing Damian away from the path of the League.

But it's here, that the Knight decides to put his plan into motion as to close off the second Act; he makes a massive broadcast on every channel in Gotham (including the GCPD and various news networks) and tells Gotham that he's done delaying the inevitable, deciding that he's going to reveal who he is to everyone watching. He removes his helmet, revealing... Bruce Wayne!

The Knight:

So, a question that I've been avoiding for some time; who is the Arkham Knight? And to answer that, I'm going to breakdown the events of what might just be the worst side-quest in the game; "Friend In Need". This is a bit lengthy, so please forgive me if I take too long.

This quest starts with Batman entering Wayne Tower via the elevator, and enters his office as Bruce Wayne. He takes a seat, but can't seem to access the computer as it doesn't recognise his retinal scan. This is where Lucius Fox comes in, confused as to why Bruce is here, before Bruce attacks Lucius and uses his retinal scan to access the computer, transferring most of Wayne Tower's money to a separate bank account; all of this being caught on camera, which in turn is watched... by Batman. From here, we learn that the Bruce Wayne that we have been following is an imposter, a man wearing a surgically crafted mask that he created from the faces that he removed from his victims. The man behind the mask is the Identity Thief, otherwise known as the surgeon Thomas Elliot who also calls himself Hush. We actually met Hush at the end of a side-quest in "Arkham City", as he had done this as a revenge scheme to destroy Bruce Wayne. And what is Hush's plan to destroy Bruce and everything he stands for, despite years of knowing each other from childhood?

Steal Bruce's fortune.... and that's it.

In "Arkham Knight", Bruce just subdues Hush and knocks him out before saying he'll put him on trial for his crimes. There's basically zero resolution or impact from this side-quest; you could just ignore it entirely and nothing about the game would really change. This is an objectively lazy way to resolve the storyline building with Hush trying to kill Bruce, as he easily could've been one of the main antagonists. Hush is normally a master manipulator and strategist, being intelligent enough to not only figure out Bruce's identity as Batman but also get the villains to co-operate in order to kill Batman. That's virtually what he does in his first major story arc in the comics; has a bunch of Batman's rogues gallery join together in a massive game of deception to kill Batman, even using Poison Ivy's pheromone dust to control Superman and have him attack Bruce.

Thus, as far as I'm concerned, the Arkham Knight never should've been Jason Todd; it should've been Hush. He has the right training and the right motivation to go after Bruce, as he is normally Batman's darker reflection. They were both born into wealthy families, but the main difference was that Thomas's parents were less than noble; with his father being incredibly abusive, and his mother being frail and submissive. He actually tried to have the two killed so he could inherit the Elliot fortune, only for Bruce's father to save Mrs Elliot in surgery, sparking the hatred that Thomas would have towards the Wayne's for the rest of his life. He is obsessed with destroying Bruce Wayne and rendered a complete sociopath because of his abusive upbringing.

For this version of the character, he could play the same role he did when he first debuted; manipulating the villains, as well as Damian, to take Gotham for themselves while also killing Batman (though I will leave out him knowing Bruce is Batman). However, since Hush has put himself through plastic surgery as to resemble Bruce Wayne, he uses this as the opportunity to discredit Bruce's legacy; pretend to be the real Bruce in order to make Gotham distrust him and think of him as a villain. And it's through this that Bruce decides to make the only choice he has;

The Climax:

Something that was really missing from this game was a climatic final battle. In "Arkham Asylum", you face a giant plant controlled by Poison Ivy before fighting a TITAN infected Joker. In "Arkham City", you fight off against Clayface in order to get the cure while also stopping Joker from getting into the Lazarus Pit. But in "Arkham Knight", Bruce is just taken to the Asylum, has his identity revealed, overcomes Crane's Fear Toxin, and puts Crane in jail. We really needed to wrap up this series of games with one truly epic final bout between Batman and the main villain. And I've come up with one that's not only thematically appropriate, but still leaves the door open for potential continuation.

Batman decides to go out into Gotham; Hush has set up a challenge to fight him outside the GCPD building, which he had taken over and wants the world to see Bruce Wayne as someone to be hated and shamed. This is where Batman arrives, news helicopters flying around as Hush stands outside the building without his mask. The two are standing across from each other, though Hush is backed up by the toughest members of the League at his disposal.

And from here is an exchange I've written between Batman and Hush:

H: I said before that you were predictable. I would suggest not taking another step; you wouldn't want to see Gotham's finest hurt now, would you?

B: Enough of this, Elliot! You won't win this.

H: You truly are as blind as the creature you pretend to be. My name is Bruce Wayne, and it's time that Gotham sees you as the weakling that you --

B: I said enough! You are not Bruce Wayne; you are Thomas Elliot, a genius-level surgeon and heir to the Elliot fortune. You are wearing a mask made from the skin of your victims to resemble Bruce Wayne. Now you will let them go, or you'll regret everything that led you to this moment.

H: Even if I were who you claim I am with that outlandish theory of yours, why would you even care? One billionaire shouldn't be any different to another in your eyes.

Batman initially hesitates; Hush sees this as a sign of weakness, and turns to address Gotham, to whom he is broadcasting this event.

H: Exactly. You people have deluded yourself into thinking he is your saviour, the Dark Knight swooping in to save the day with some tacky gadget or an overwrought car with a cannon on the top. But now you see, that there truly is no saving this city; Gotham will perish, and the Batman's legacy will die with it.

Hush turns back around to Batman.

H: Now then; is there anything you wish to say before your legend dies?

By now, Batman's resolve has hardened; he clenches his fist.

B: I only have one thing to say to you.

He reaches behind his head, and removes his helmet; revealing his identity to both Hush and Gotham.

B: Take your best shot, Tommy.

The citizens watching are shocked, but more importantly confused. Which Bruce Wayne is the real one? Is he the Arkham Knight, or is he Batman? Hush briefly starts to panic.

H: N-no, no this can't be right! Bruce Wayne is a pampered, spoiled brat; he's never had to fight for anything in his life! You can't be-- I'M Bruce Wayne!

B: No. You're a murderer, a criminal; a coward.

Hush is furious, but he hides it as he puts on his Arkham Knight helmet.

H: It doesn't matter; now that I have the chance to destroy both Bruce Wayne and the Batman in one night!

B: That won't happen, Tommy. You've already lost.

H: Are you blind or just stupid? Look around you! You're completely alone!

???: I wouldn't say that!

Both Hush and Bruce turn to see Nightwing leap down and stand beside Bruce on the right.

N: Sorry I'm late Bruce; hit a little traffic.

Hush seems unimpressed.

H: One sidekick won't make a difference!

A shot is heard; one of Hush's soldiers falls to the ground clutching his shoulder in pain. From behind Bruce, Red Hood walks to his left while holding a smoking pistol.

RH: Good thing, then, that there isn't just one!

From there, the rest of the Bat-Family arrive. Batwoman swoops in with Batgirl by her side; Catwoman uses her whip and gymnastics to drop down from another building and is followed by Nightrunner; Red Robin and Spoiler then grapple in standing side by side; and finally, a red and black bike arrives on the scene, with Damian jumping off from it wearing his own Robin suit. All of the costumed heroes are standing across from Hush, but none of them are wearing their masks; they're standing together as one family and refusing to stand by in the shadows anymore. They've taken Bruce's example and showing that they are not afraid of the man standing across from them.

Bruce takes a small step forward.

B: For all of the things you say I am, Tommy, there's one thing you've gotten wrong.

H: And pray tell, just what would that be Bruce?!

Bruce looks at each member of the Bat-Family; they each all nod at him before he looks back at Hush.

B: I am more than just Bruce Wayne. I am vengeance; I am the night; I! Am! BATMAN!

By now, Hush has had enough; he and his soldiers charge forward, with the Bat-Family charging back. And from there, they fight.

The main thing I wanted to explore with this ending is the fact that Tommy and Bruce are near mirror opposites. Both of them are smart, are heirs to an incredible fortune, and have experienced how harsh the world can be. But while Bruce has channelled his inner demons to fight for the people of Gotham and become their saviour, Tommy allowed his inner demons to consume him and turn him into a murderous monster. And it's because of his demons that Tommy refuses to believe that Bruce has ever truly suffered, thinking that he had his riches handed to him on a silver platter while Tommy had to fight and climb from the bottom to have even a semblance of recognition or respect. They are mirrors of each other, because Tommy's very existence asks the question "what if Batman had none of his morality and chose to become a killer?" With this, not only do we get a proper final boss battle to close out the story, but we also have Batman rising against the worst version of himself.

Also, revealing Bruce as Batman to the public this way I feel is much more effective than how it actually happens in the original game for one main reason; Bruce is choosing to reveal himself instead of letting someone else doing it for him. In the game, you're basically forced to surrender and let Scarecrow reveal Bruce's identity to the public, which didn't really feel earned nor did it allow for better storytelling. It was basically an excuse to play as the Joker in Batman's head before he overcomes his fears and is inexplicably saved by Red Hood.

And of course the main reason as to doing this; it gives Hush something to do in the story. In the main game, if you were to remove Hush from the story, absolutely nothing at all would change. He comes in, takes Lucius hostage, is beaten, and is never brought up again. It's a complete waste for a character like Hush to just be relegated to an E-plot at best, especially with the set-up for him in the previous game. And with the establishment of the Arkham Knight character as someone who has a personal grudge against Batman and Bruce Wayne, on top of having the skills needed to go toe-to-toe with him and recruit the other villains to help, it would've made sense that this was Hush's grand scheme to kill Batman and ruin Bruce Wayne's legacy by masquerading as him. By having him as the Arkham Knight instead of Jason Todd, it is therefore challenging Bruce to defend his honour and fight for Gotham, which he can only do by showing that he is both Bruce Wayne, the eccentric playboy billionaire CEO, and Batman, the defender of Gotham and widely-feared vigilante; one cannot exist without the other and he is embracing both to save Gotham.

Anyways, fight scene ensues; Bruce is mainly fighting Hush, while the rest of the Bat-Family fight off Hush's thugs. We can use this as an opportunity to allow for banter between the members of the team, taking down enemies together with the Dual Team Takedown mechanic, show off everyone's unique fighting styles such as Damian with a sword or Jason with his pistols; go all out and have fun with it. And by the end of it, each member takes a shot at Hush, breaking his armour away until his helmet is destroyed; Bruce then comes in and uses his arm blades to slash at Hush's face mask, revealing the real face underneath and exposing Thomas Elliot to the rest of Gotham. By now, Elliot is panicking; everything that he has fought for has fallen apart and now he has nothing left. But as he tries to run, Bruce lunges at him and pins him to the ground.

H: N-no! NO! This isn't over, Bruce! I'll never stop hunting you until you're dead, you hear me?!

B: It IS over, Tommy; and you'll never win.

He knocks Elliot out, and the remaining League members try to retreat, only to be stopped by the Batmobile. Barbara's voice is then heard coming from it.

Br: I'd think twice if I were you guys.

With that, Bruce picks up Elliot and drops him off at the GCPD. Aaron Cash can be there to take him in, and he can still do the whole "I'll stick to Batman" joke because I actually really like that line. Only this time, Commissioner Gordon steps out of the elevator to see the whole Bat-Family, unmasked and exposed.

The Ending:

And from here, I've narrowed it down to one of two ways that the story can go. Firstly, it can go the game route with the Knightfall Protocol; Bruce blows up his mansion, apparently fakes his death, and everyone keeps on fighting in his place. I don't mind that as an ending to the story, but I also don't think that the game really earned it. And with the way that I've put my story together, it doesn't really gel with the main ideas that I'm going for.

But thankfully, I do have an alternative that could still work as a solid conclusion while leaving the door open for further expansion. With that said, I've written an exchange between Bruce and Gordon to help give you guys an idea of what I'm going for. It goes a little something like this:

CG: Bruce; what now? The whole world knows who you are; who ALL of you are.

B: I know, Jim.

CG: All of the scumbags that you've locked up won't ever stop coming after you. Cobblepot, Dent, Crane, Nygma; they'll be all the more desperate to see you dead.

B: That's right. And that desperation will be their downfall.

Gordon is visibly confused. For this next part, I'm imagining a montage of the GCPD going out and arresting criminals all across Gotham.

B: In all of these years that I've been Batman, one thing has remained true in my mind; criminals are a superstitious, cowardly lot. I had to be able to strike fear in their hearts. But the more that I let myself put on the mask and scare them into never terrorising this city again, the more that I lost sight of Bruce Wayne and who he is. And that idea, that I could one day lose who I am; that's what scared me tonight, Jim. I revealed who I was to the world, not just to prove my innocence; but to show that I am not just Batman or Bruce Wayne. One cannot exist without the other. And it's because of that, that anyone who comes after me or the people I care about will never win. That's why Tommy didn't win; because I am not afraid anymore. I've hidden away for too long; I'm stepping out of the darkness and coming into the light.

Now we're back with Bruce and Gordon. Bruce puts out his hand to Gordon; they shake hands, and Bruce puts his mask back on, the Bat-Family following suit. After, Gordon hears his radio go off, turns around to listen in.

R: All units, all units; reports of Julian Day and Victor Zsasz causing havoc in East Gotham. I repeat; Calendar Man and Zsasz in East Gotham. Please respond.

By the time Gordon turns back, the Bat-Family is gone. He scoffs.

CG: What a shock.

We cut to each member of the Bat-Family traversing across Gotham; ending with Bruce standing over Calendar Man and Zsasz with as thugs surround him. Each one is taunting him, calling him Bruce instead of Batman. But then, the Bat-Family all swoop or swing in and stand together, with Bruce leading from the centre with a smile on his face before they all charge in.

Cut to black, roll credits.

Conclusion:

And there we have it. A story with an Arkham Knight that has a real motivation; an ending that fits a stronger thematic than just "fear is bad"; a narrative that gave the other heroes a chance to shine; a Jason Todd who isn't a whiny contrarian; and finally, a look into the potential of having Hush as the villain standing toe-to-toe with Batman.

As for why I included Damian Wayne in this, it was mainly to wrap up the stuff with the League Of Assassins in this story. They had more or less been one of the core villains in the franchise, with Ra's' body appearing in "Arkham Asylum" and the group being responsible for getting Quincy Sharp elected as the Mayor, which in turn led to the foundation of Arkham City and Hugo Strange initiating Protocol 10. Having Damian in this story not only allows for Bruce to honour Talia's memory by guiding Damian away from the path of revenge, but also gives the game the chance to put an end to the storyline with the League that's been building in the background since the first game.

And at the very least, my version of the story wasn't just relegated to an unsatisfactory DLC with characters acting like morons.

Anyways, thanks for reading. If you enjoyed, be sure to leave a comment letting me know what you think. Please share on social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, etc. Follow me on Twitter; my handle is @MediaHood23. Same with my Instagram; @mediahood23. And of course, please check out and subscribe to my YouTube channel; Media Hood Reviews.

But until next time, because there always will be one; this is Callum Lewis, the Media Hood, signing off!

Why I'm not watching The Snyder Cut (2021)

 (SPOILER WARNING!!... maybe)

Back in 2017 after the release of "Justice League", many DC fanboys were crying out that the version that we got in theatre, which had been taken over by alleged abuser Joss Whedon, did not live up to expectations in regards to what the title and premise promised. By now, it's common knowledge that most people were not fans of the film, especially with how it was pretty obvious that Warner Bros/DC had interfered and overstepped during the production to the point of of demanding needless reshoots and virtually rewriting the entire script, which came off as disingenuous with later knowledge that Zack Snyder had left the project once filming had wrapped to cope with the loss of his daughter Autumn, who had tragically taken her own life circa March of 2017.

But with or without knowledge of the behind-the-scenes meddling, many were demanding that Zack be given another chance to create the version of the story that HE wanted to tell, rallying behind the Twitter hashtag #ReleaseTheSnyderCut. I will freely admit that when I first heard of this, I openly scoffed at the idea. I neither liked or hated "Justice League" due to lower expectations, even when I was fully aware of what made the film a cinematic mess. But I vocally refused to believe that either Warner Bros or DC would risk making another version of the film, as whatever they did could potentially make the end product worse than its predecessor. It happened with the "Ultimate Edition" of BvS (which I still say is worse than the theatrical cut), so I was fully expecting that to happen to "Justice League".

But lo and behold. Not only did they get Zack Snyder back to put together his version of the movie; not only were they giving him the full creative freedom that they took away after filming wrapped on the first version; and not only was it actually finished and put on HBO Max; but as of writing this, people with HBO Max who had seen it are thoroughly enjoying it, with many calling it an improvement over the original and exactly what they thought they were going to get in the first place. I am happy that they are enjoying it, and that their vocal support for Zack to release his own version had paid off. And if those reading this had seen and enjoyed it, good for you.

Now with that out of the way, please allow me list the reasons why I likely will never see it.

1. I live in the UK.

This is probably the simplest reason. I'm from England, and right now HBO Max is not available to us lot, so I wouldn't be able to watch it anyways. I know some friends over here who MIGHT be able to watch it by other means, but it's down to them if they want to watch it. If they do, more power to them. If not, then I could care less.

That's about it for this part. I can't watch it coz I'm Bri'ish, init?

2. The visual style.

One thing that I wan to make clear is that I don't hate Zack Snyder. A few dumb comments about his own movies and comic books aside, Zach seems like a legitimately nice guy. He's clearly passionate about the general art of filmmaking, and he's apparently pretty amiable if the word of the actors are to be believed. If nothing else, I can at least say that he clearly puts a lot of effort into his work.

But I've never understood the appeal of his style of direction, which normally leads to me not enjoying a lot of what he produces. This is not helped by how, more often than not in my opinion, he tends to focus on style over substance, and this in turn has lead to visually bold films with messy or derivative narratives and themes. The only real exceptions I can name are "300", which was already an excessive and overly dramatic work of fiction as a graphic novel written by Frank "Goddamn Batman" Miller, and "Watchmen", which I can personally credit to how it was a faithful retelling of the graphic novel in spite of a stupid ending that removes the weight and ambiguity of the source material. Otherwise, I end up not liking a lot of his movies due to the visual style being very monochromatic and lifeless, with most of the colour palette being either dark greys or garish browns. Add in the excessive amount of slow motion and the camera never being held still so that we can actually appreciate the cinematography, and you a method of filmmaking that simply doesn't appeal to me.

And with the first trailer of the Snyder Cut, I could tell that this would be the most that Zack Snyder had ever Synder'd. The visual style was exactly as I described, with a bleak tone telling of the end of the world and the characters being edgelord level serious and stoic. The main villain was given away in the very first shot of the trailer (and looked terrible, incidentally) and we were greeted to the second use of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" in a Zack Snyder project, which I think made us laugh moreso than it made us cry. It would've been the funniest thing I had ever seen if it weren't for the fact that I don't like the visual style.

3. I'm done with DC movies.

A lot of the problems I've had with a lot of the DCEU movies can easily be pinpointed to one singular source: DC themselves. For the longest time, I could tell that most of the narrative or character choices for the films was a direct result of DC meddling with their own projects. As much as I don't enjoy Zack's visual style, I don't blame him for how "Man Of Steel" made Superman, the ultimate symbol of hope in the DC Universe, into a joyless robot who meanders around until an artificial conflict reveals itself. It wasn't Zack's fault nor was it Henry Cavill's fault; DC was clearly pushing for a dark and gritty retelling of one of the kindest and most compassionate superheroes of all time. And sadly, this kind of tonal disconnect from the character is the only real consistent element with "Batman V Superman", as well as parts of "Suicide Squad". Most of the characters are joyless, passionless entities with no real motivations or end goals beyond just dressing up in costumes and waiting for supervillains to turn up, which is literally true in the case of the plot to "Suicide Squad".

And it's because of this disconnect that I've begun to distance myself from DC's movies, even with the course correction that was shown in "Wonder Woman", "Aquaman" and "Shazam". As much as I enjoy those films, it was clear to me that they were still examples of DC having to do some serious damage control with how their other films had been miserable experiences at the cinema for those of us who simply want to see someone become a superhero and inspire hope in people.

As much as I don't want to compare them, it feels kind of inevitable that I discuss how DC handled their films versus how Marvel handles their films. With Marvel, they take the time to fully establish the characters and their universe, while also littering small hints throughout the important ones to other characters or possible threats that set-up the literal endgame to the ongoing storyline. Whereas with DC, I felt like they rushed doing Superman's origin story before jumping straight into the big crossover event that featured Batman, Wonder Woman, the "Death of Superman" storyline, the "Dark Knight Returns" storyline, and cameos from other Justice League members (and one Teen Titan) to hype up the next time we would see them all in the same film. They basically blew their load on the appeal of seeing these iconic characters together far too early, thus taking away the appeal of a "Justice League" movie. It's not Marvel started with "Iron Man" and then jumped straight into "Infinity War"; they took their time and give us the chance to enjoy the characters.

So it's primarily because of DC's constant interference with these movies that I've chosen to go cold turkey with their projects, and focused instead on watching the Disney + Marvel shows with "Falcon and The Winter Soldier" starting tomorrow as of writing this. And with the exception of Matt Reeve's "The Batman" and James Gunn's "The Suicide Squad", I honestly could care less about what DC is pushing out as none of it really grabs me and I constantly fear that they'll screw it up one way or the other. Call me a cynic if you want, but that's just what the execs at DC have unintentionally done to me.

4. Overexposure.

In spite of all of my rambling, a big reason for not watching the Snyder Cut has to do with the fact that I simply do not care. Almost every time I've checked out my Twitter feed in the past day or so, I've found someone talking about the Snyder Cut and how much they enjoyed it, or it'll show someone asking if their friends enjoyed it, or it'll even ask if any of us will bother seeing it at all. And because of this constant exposure to something that I genuinely could not give two shits about, I found myself wanting to see it less and less.

Once again, to reiterate; I'm glad people are enjoying it. I'm happy that the viewers are engaging with it and finding a version of the movie that satisfies their need for a massive superhero film that isn't owned by Marvel or Disney. More power to those people if they enjoy it.

But I'm sick to death of hearing about this bloody movie almost every time I go on Twitter. It's the same thing that happened when "Wonder Woman 1984" came out. I hadn't seen it, but people constantly talking about it and whether or not it's even good basically pushed me to never see it, even when it comes out on DVD. This isn't something that should happen for someone whose main hobby revolves around talking about movies and what they mean to me.

Conclusion.

If I must state this again. there is nothing wrong with you enjoying this movie if you had seen it. I fully encourage those to share their opinion of this movie while remaining open to what other people speak.

So please remain open when I say that my prior experience with this series of films has made me unwilling to check out the Snyder Cut of "Justice League", especially with further prior experience with seeing people go crazy over the idea of disliking or not seeing a DC movie. I really do hope that it IS good, or even better than the theatrical cut. I may even one day convince myself to devote an entire afternoon to sitting down and watching all four hours of it if it ever comes out on DVD. But as of right now, as someone will enjoys superhero movies and as a major film geek, I can't bring myself to even seek this out on torrents or seeing if someone has pirated it. I just don't have it in me to care about this project right now, especially with other shows and movies currently on my "to-watch" list.

But I think I've said my piece enough as it is. If you liked what you've read, please be sure to share this on social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc), and leave a comment letting me know how you feel about the Snyder Cut. If you want to see my regular nerdy bullocks, be sure to follow me on Twitter; my handle is @MediaHood23. I'm also on Instagram, so check me out there; again, @mediahood23. And last but not least, I'd appreciate it if you subscribe to my YouTube channel "Media Hood Reviews". I'm becoming more active on video production, so any support at all is welcome.

But until next time, because there always will be one; this is Callum Lewis, the Media Hood, signing off!

Age Of Extinction Rewrite Part 2: The Villain Changes

 (SPOILER WARNING!! (kind of))

Welcome to part two of my rewrite of "Age Of Extinction". Here's part one if you need a refresh. Now that I've gone over my changes to the human cast and the Autobots, I think that it's fair that I start with the villains.

In the original film, we had the bounty hunter Lockdown, who was working with the humans to hunt down Optimus Prime in exchange for the Seed that turns entire cities into "transformium" (which is the dumbest name for a fictional element I have ever heard). In concept, I have nothing wrong with Lockdown as the main antagonist; he originally appeared in "Transformers: Animated" as a breakout character and most of the traits associated with him are carried through to the movie. My problem, however, is that the alliance he has with the humans is not interesting, as it basically robs him of any agency as the main robot antagonist.

As for Galvatron, he was pretty much completely wasted. He appears once or twice throughout the film before he suddenly just takes over KSI's surplus of drones and wants the Seed because he's evil. And just like what happened with Megatron in the previous films, he's completely brushed off to the side by literally everything else going on as to focus on the humans instead of the title characters. It wasn't even worth it having Frank Welker reprise the role as so little was actually done with him.

As such, after much consideration, I've decided to excise both Lockdown and Galvatron from the rewrite. Both of these characters deserve much more respect than what was shown in the film, as there isn't really enough room for both. We can just save them for future movies; Galvatron, as far as I'm concerned, should be saved for a story involving Unicron, whilst Lockdown can be a self-serving antagonist in a different story.

Still, do you remember how I said that the info that Blackrock uses to create the Dinobots came primarily from Sentinel's head with Starscream as a secondary source? This is where that comes into play as we ask a big question for this rewrite:

Who are the villains?

Something that has been sorely missing from these films is any sense of personality for the Decepticons. There are a few standouts, of course; Starscream being a snivelling coward and Soundwave being a merciless manipulator come to mind. But aside from that, most of them are either slobbering monsters or generic cannon fodder. The Decepticons in other Transformers stories usually have larger personalities than the Autobots, so we really could've done with a group of Decepticons who can be a challenging threat to the Autobots while having distinct identities.

As brought up before, Blackrock primarily created the Dinobots to be marketed towards the public; dinosaurs are super popular, so making a group of robots based on dinosaurs makes the most sense for popularity. But as I also established, Blackrock's company also has contracts with the military, thus mainly created drones that are more utilitarian in design and function. With Chumley being a CIA operative in my rewrite, most of his backing goes to these military drones so that they can be used to hunt down other Transformers. Blackrock has five prototype drones that transform into some type of military vehicle; the line-up includes a surface-to-air missile truck, an Apache helicopter, a fighter jet, an Abrams tank, and a standard military Humvee. Because of Chumley having a say in what they would be called, these drones are filed under "Project: Combatrons".

And instantly, this should tip off any Transformers fan as to who the villains are. I think the perfect antagonists to have for this movie should've been one of the original Decepticon sub-groups:

The Combaticons.

For those reading who have no idea who these guys are; the Combaticons debuted in the original cartoon series episode "Starscream's Brigade". After another failed attempt at leadership, Starscream ended up abandoned on an island that just happened to have a bunch of scrapped military vehicles, inspiring the traitor to create his own team of Decepticons, which he named the Combaticons, to take leadership from Megatron. It naturally backfired, but the Combaticons were eventually seized by Megatron after they tried tossing the Earth into the sun using a Space Bridge.

The group normally consists of these five characters:

Onslaught, team leader and tactician. He has a near unrivalled strategic mind, which is a contrast to how much of an easily offended perfectionist he is. The instant that his plans go wrong or someone on his team is not doing as ordered, he gets infuriated, which in turn makes him a tougher enemy to deal with.

Vortex, interrogator. He is a sociopath and a sadist, taking pleasure in seeing the people he tortures suffer before killing them once he has the information he's looking for. As far as he's concerned, everything exists to satisfy his own twisted needs.

Blast Off, surveillance and aerial combatant. He has a very high opinion of himself, looking down on literally everyone, even those on his own team. Otherwise, he tends to be apathetic to anyone who tries to bring him down to Earth (so to speak) and likes doing things by choice, as opposed to command.

He'll also be a fighter jet in this rewrite instead of a shuttle to fit into the military aesthetic of the Combaticons.

Brawl, heavy combat specialist. He's loud, violent, and stupid. The gears in his head may not all be in the right spot, but he is certainly a proficient fighter. All Onslaught has to do is point him in the right direction and Brawl will leave a trail of destruction in his path

Also; yes, I know that he was killed in the first movie. But we kept seeing his character model used in the other movies, so him coming back in my rewrite isn't a stretch. Besides, this can be addressed in the film by Blackrock saying that the board of directors really liked the name "Brawl" for the robot that turns into a tank, so that's the name they went with.

Swindle, munitions expert. As the name implies, he can't be trusted by anyone. If he wanted to, he could probably sell his teammates motherboards for a profit. And yet, despite his opportunistic nature, he has the charismatic silver tongue to trick anybody into buying the cheapest gear for the highest price.

I think having the Combaticons would make a good change of pace for the antagonists. Firstly, each one has their own distinct personality; I know I harp on this a lot in this rewrite, but one of the reasons that people enjoy the franchise so much is because the characters have unique identities that you wouldn't mistake for anyone else. You aren't exactly going to confuse the loud and destructive Brawl with the sly, cunning Swindle, are you? Secondly, this creates more visual variety; in almost every single film, the Decepticons are just big grey monsters who blow stuff up. If every Decepticon was like that in the original cartoon or any other incarnation, it's going to make the product go stale in the short run. It's one of the reasons why I appreciate Shatter and Dropkick as the main villains of "Bumblebee"; they are visually distinctive from each other as well as every other main antagonist in the movies.

As for the third reason, this also allows to build a rivalry between the Combaticons and the Dinobots. Unlike the Dinobots, who have a limited A.I to make them easier to control before they develop their own sentience in a manner similar to Robert Di Niro as Frankenstein's monster, the Combaticons are given military grade A.I as to make them more sophisticated. As part of their scheme, Onslaught can have Swindle trick the Dinobots into thinking that they don't belong or that the humans just see them as tools. Here's an exchange I've written between Swindle and Grimlock to give an idea:

S: If you ask me, Grim, these humans really deserve bots like you.

G: What you, Swindle, saying?

S: Better face facts, pal; this Blackrock guy, he's a businessman. And the main concern on ANY businessman's mind is how to use whatever asset they have to make a profit; they exploit anything they see to get higher in the proverbial food-chain.

G: You think him, Blackrock, is using Dinobots? But why? Blackrock nice to us, him give us Dinobots life.

S: Oh sure, it seems like he cares; but I know better, Grimlock. Blackrock, Chumley, those other humans? They talk smack about you behind your backs. They think you're just tools to be used. And the second a tool isn't useful to them, they throw it away for another one. They did it to the Autobots; they'll do it to you, next.

This, as a result, causes Grimlock to lose his cool and distrust the humans, and the Dinobots are loyal to Grimlock so they'll follow him when they break out. This break out can show Grimlock being hostile towards Blackrock, thinking that he sees his creations as just pawns on a chess board, and the inevitable escape will show the defence systems at the facility being completely destroyed. Onslaught, who is pretending to be in stasis lock (essentially a robot equivalent to a medically induced coma), will look on with intrigue, and we can then cut to his perspective as he then brings up a file named "Project: Scramble", which he was able to download from Blackrock's files thanks to the Dinobots providing the ample distraction needed. It was Onslaught who ordered Swindle to lie to Grimlock about Blackrock's intentions, as he had overheard Blackrock talking to his scientists about a secret project that Chumley had requested be made specifically for the Combaticons.

And for anyone familiar with the basic concept of "scramble" in the Transformers mythos, you probably have an idea of what exactly that secret project is. But this will be revealed another time.

Firstly, I want to thank everyone who took the time to read both this and the first part of this rewrite. I apologise that it took so long, but I wanted to make sure that I had a clear idea of what direction I was taking it in. Secondly, I think I'll be able to wrap up this rewrite in at least two more parts, as I'm already working on what will happen. Those will probably be the longest of the parts primarily because that's where I'll delve more into how the story progresses, so please look forward to that.

But once again, thank you for reading. If you enjoyed, I would appreciate it if you shared this on social media; such as Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. Speaking of, I'd also appreciate it if you follow me on Twitter; my handle is @MediaHood23. I've also made an Instagram account in-between the rewrites, so be sure to check me out on there as well; once again, the account is @mediahood23. And I'm also getting back into the groove of making videos, so be sure to check out Media Hood Reviews on YouTube. Maybe leave a like on the videos, or subscribe if you so wish. And of course, leave a comment on this post letting me know what you thought of the rewrite thus far; any and all feedback from you guys gives me more incentive to keep going with these as well as my reviews.

But until next time; this is Callum Lewis, the Media Hood, signing off!

(special credit to Simon Wong for the fan art on the Combaticons; his Twitter handle is @SimonWongArt and his Instagram account is @sw_illustration_)

Age Of Extinction Rewrite Part 1: The Cast Changes

 (SPOILER WARNING!! (kind of))

While I retain the opinion that these films have not withstood the test of time, an argument could be made for the fourth film, "Age Of Extinction", as the most tolerable one. That's not to say it's a good movie, as there is plenty wrong with it; the editing is all over the place, the pacing is terrible, Shane was an awful character, Galvatron was virtually a non-entity, and the Dinobots are completely deprived of any personality while existing solely for the sake of action scenes.

With that said, there are elements of the film that I feel still hold up to this day; the acting across the board was solid (especially Stanley Tucci and Kelsey Grammer), the effects were still top notch, most of the human characters were much more likeable than in the previous films, Lockdown was a good villain, the new Autobots had a lot of charm, and it introduced concepts that hadn't really been explored in the Transformers films before that point. The most notable example being how human beings react to the presence of the Transformers and how the war had affected the lives of everyone on the planet. If the film had coalesced on that theme and explored it through both the humans and the Autobots perspective, then the critical reception to it wouldn't have been so vitriolic.

But of course, I'm not here to talk about what we eventually got as the finished product; I'm here to bring my version of the story to light.

Here are a few rules that I set for myself going into this rewrite:

1. This can not be following on from my rewrite of "Dark Of The Moon". As proud as I am for doing that rewrite, I can't treat that as the canon version of the films; I have to create a new version of "Age Of Extinction" following the events of the previous films proper without an abundance of retcons.

2. I must keep the general concepts and themes of the original version of the film consistent with my rewrite. As I stated earlier, the general theme of humanity fearing the Transformers because of their war as well as using their technology to defend themselves from alien threats is a fascinating one. My rewrite will moreso focus on those themes than the film did.

3. I have to provide the reasons for my changes in the rewrite without treating the original writers as idiots. As much as I may want to, I need to avoid constantly insulting the original writer for "Age Of Extinction", Ehren Krueger, for the choices he made with the script. I will criticise those choices, but that isn't the same thing as deriding the person who was simply doing his job as a writer.

With those rules out of the way, let's begin with some of the smaller changes I'm making to the story:

1. The Human Cast:

Starting off with the humans, some of the cast will remain mostly the same. Cade Yeager will still be a down-on-his-luck farmer, with Tessa as his daughter as they live in serious debt. The only change I'd make to Cade is that he'll be a self-taught engineer instead of an inventor. He can still find abandoned pieces of tech (hence how he finds Optimus in his truck mode), but he mostly does commission work from people who need their equipment fixed. Tessa will also remain mostly the same, but I'd take out the interactions between her and Cade that specifically draw attention to her wardrobe; she'll mainly be wearing dungarees and t-shirts instead of dresses and short shorts.

Otherwise we'll still have Kelsey Grammer as the main antagonist, Titus Welliver as his primary henchman/enforcer, and Stanley Tucci as the eccentric CEO of a lucrative business. But the first change I'm making with the villains is that the CEO of the business shown in the story won't be called Joshua Joyce; he'll instead be another character called G.B Blackrock.

For those unfamiliar, Blackrock is a human ally to the Autobots from the original Marvel run of the Transformers comics. He's the owner of Blackrock Enterprises, a multi-platform conglomerate that primarily focuses on technological advancements. This may seem like a small change, but it actually factors a lot into his characterisation. On the surface, Joyce and Blackrock are seemingly the same; eccentric businessmen who focus mainly on advancing technology. The difference, however, is that Joyce mainly focuses on the aspect of technology being what's necessary for the company to thrive, whereas Blackrock is moreso concerned about the wellbeing of the people who work for him. In the original comics, an employee of his named Josie Beller (who would later become the villain Circuit Breaker) was left hospitalised after a Decepticon attack and the event actually traumatised Blackrock for a while. This will pretty much be his characterisation for the film; he's not selfish or anything, just overly ambitious to use Cybertronian technology as a means of helping mankind. He doesn't hate the Transformers, but sees an opportunity to help people as much as he can.

As for Titus Welliver, I feel like casting him as a mercenary henchman was really a good choice as the guy can be really intimidating. But I want him to be a legacy character from somewhere in the Transformers franchise; as such, I've decided on a character called Leland Bishop, A.K.A Silas.

Silas is a relatively new character in the Transformers mythos, specifically from "Transformers: Prime"; he was the leader of the terrorist organisation called M.E.C.H, who would frequently encounter the Transformers during their war to try and create their own weapons using Cybertronian technology. As such, with Titus now playing Silas instead of James Savoy, the organisation hunting down Transformers, Cemetery Wind, will be replaced by M.E.C.H with Silas working directly under Kelsey Grammer's character. It honestly makes more sense to do that instead of simply disbanding N.E.S.T and suddenly introducing Cemetery Wind as the opposite. M.E.C.H will be a mercenary group specifically put together by Grammer and Silas to hunt down the Transformers to use their technology for profit, which also helps in keeping the group separated from the government, although Grammer's character would have his own ulterior motives.

Speaking of which, his role will remain mostly the same; a CIA operative who takes it upon himself to hunt the Transformers down using a para-military force. However, he won't be called Harold Attinger nor will he have the same motivation. There is nothing specifically wrong with that name, but I feel like there is a missed opportunity to show some respect the original series while updating it a little bit. Thus, instead of Harold Attinger, Kelsey Grammer will be playing the character of Lord Chumley.

Chumley was a character introduced in the original cartoon; he's a hunter who has an unhealthy obsession with tracking down and capturing Autobots. More specifically, he wants the head of Optimus Prime. For this rewrite, Chumley (whose first name will be Thurston in reference to the Rescue Bots character) will be a Vietnam veteran who has seen his fair share of conflict and bloodshed. Instead of suffering from some kind of trauma, however, he will have adopted an unhealthy mindset of preserving the greatest prey in his own personal collection; this would include the likes of ancient artefacts and the skins of now extinct animals. He can specifically put M.E.C.H together and hire Silas to lead them, because now he wants to hunt down Optimus as the greatest prize in his collection.

For the rest of the human cast, a large chunk of them will be completely cut from the story. T.J Miller's character, Lucas Flannery? Gone. I didn't find him funny and he ultimately proved to be pointless to the narrative; he dies and is forgotten about shortly after. We'll also say goodbye to Sophia Miles' character, Darcy Tyril, as she serves very little purpose other than to be the British lady associated with Stanley Tucci's character. We'll keep Li Bingbing's character, Su Yuemeng, and have her fill Darcy's role instead; it helps to trim the fat that way. But the main character I'm getting rid of is Shane Dyson, played by Jack Reynor.

Fuck this guy. Fuck ALL of this guy. He's cowardly, selfish, condescending, and virtually useless. The only reason that this character exists is solely to add more drama between Cade and Tessa, which was not needed as there was already friction between the father and daughter due to the former not allowing the latter to date so she can focus on her studies, as well as how he tries to use his inventions to make money instead of getting a job; this is more than enough. There are also a lot of negative connotations with Shane, as he is a 20 year old dating a 17 year old woman, which gets a lot of attention with how he is holding a fucking STATUTE of all things in his wallet that basically says "they can date because they did in high school", which is not how the statute actually works. Here's the actual statute if you want further info.

In short; fuck Shane, we don't need him.

Otherwise, we can still keep the core cast of Cade and Tessa Yeager, with Chumley and Silas as the villains, and G.B Blackrock as something of a deuteragonist while Su Yuemeng is his secretary/bodyguard. This heavily narrows the cast down while helping to keep the narrative focused. There can also be a line thrown in about what happened to Sam and Carly; they could be imprisoned, or Bumblebee could've left Sam for his own protection, or maybe Silas killed them when they refused to give up the whereabouts of the Autobots. Regardless of the reason, none of the original human characters will make an appearance in my rewrite. The less Shia LaBeouf we have in these films, the better off we will be.

2. The Autobots.

This where we getter bigger changes in the cast, with the most major alterations being with the Autobots themselves. I don't mind the idea of Optimus being found by Cade and Tessa, and the sub-plot of him distrusting humanity was a neat idea; the scene where Cade compares Optimus' spark to a human soul helps the audience like Cade, as he doesn't just instantly treat the Transformers as heartless war machines. The only real change I would make is that Optimus wouldn't say stuff like "I'll kill you" at the top of his lungs, and he wouldn't be as bloodthirsty as he is in the original version of the film; he'll just be more melancholic and uncertain about whether to keep his faith in humanity with all that he and his Autobots have sacrificed only for it to be thrown back in their faces. This is a much more tangible character arc for Optimus and gives us the chance to finally sympathise with the human characters instead of dreading them every time they appear on screen.

And starting with the rest of the Autobots; Bumblebee will be almost completely unaltered. He didn't have a lot to do in the movie anyways, so there isn't much to change; the only thing is that instead of a Camaro I'd have Bumblebee adopt a Volkswagen Beetle Dune alt mode.

It's still a modern yellow sports car, but it would help to make Bumblebee more recognisable as the character due to his origins of disguising himself as a Volkswagen car. Besides, we see the likes of Optimus, Hound, Ratchet and Drift change their alt modes or colours anyway, so it would make sense to change his appearance to better hide from human eyes. Also, he'll be able to talk in this one. I never liked the whole "speaking through the radio" gimmick in these movies, so we can just say that in between films Bumblebee's voice was fixed. He'll be voiced by Dylan O'Brien.

As for the rest of the Autobot cast, the changes will be moreso be in the line-up as we could really do with less Autobots who just turn into cars. The only things I'll be keeping from the original film is a few members of the voice cast.

First off, we have a personal favourite of mine; Warpath.

He'll more or less fill the same role as Hound did in the movie; the big, burly Autobot who loves a good brawl with the Decepticons. He'll even be voiced by John Goodman, same as Hound was. The main difference is that this personality is actually really fitting for Warpath, seeing as how that has always been his characterisation across the different Transformers media. I never really liked how Hound, the hologram-wielding explorer with a love for humanity, was turned into the gun-totting Ironhide surrogate in the movies. Thus, having Warpath instead of Hound fixes that issue while keeping the same idea for the character. He'll also have his traditional "BAM! POW! ZOWEE!" onomatopoeia speech that is a defining trait for the character. Besides, having an Autobot as a tank helps to give a little variety.

Next, in the original cast, there was the Autobot paratrooper Crosshairs, voiced by John DiMaggio doing a terrible Jason Statham impersonation. Unfortunately, we don't really get much from him. He's just another trigger-happy Autobot who doesn't like humans. Those are a dime-a-dozen in these films, so he doesn't really feel unique. So instead, let's get an Autobot who actually likes humanity and wants to see them prosper.

And with that, I've decided on a character called Beachcomber.

Beachcomber's deal is that he is a pacifistic geologist, always having issues with having to fight Decepticons in general. I choose him specifically, because it would make a good contrast with so many other Autobots in these films who are violent psychos with finger on the trigger. Beachcomber isn't a fighter nor does he harbour any hatred towards humans; in fact, Beachcomber in my version of the story can still hold faith that humanity do better than the other Autobots believe they can do. One of the Autobots could ridicule him for his idealism, but Beachcomber could then give a passionate speech about his belief which, in turn, could inspire Optimus to restore his faith again. Faith in people is another theme in the original film, and I really liked that idea so I'm carrying that over to my rewrite.

And as a personal aside, I would have him voiced by Steve Blum, because it's my rewrite and I can do whatever the Hell I want.

And finally we get to both the biggest and the smallest change to the Autobot cast in my version of the story. In the original version we have Drift, a triple-changing, sword-wielding Autobot who spouts haikus, calls Optimus Prime "sensei", is directly designed after a traditional Samurai, and is voiced by Ken Watanabe to really drive the Japanese stereotype home.

And while I was watching the film, the same question kept popping into my head; instead of Drift, why couldn't he be Springer?

And this is what I mean by this being the smallest and the biggest change, as Springer fills the same functional role as Drift; he's a triple-changing Autobot who mainly wields a sword. But instead of just being a stereotype of a Japanese person, Springer will be something of a thrill-seeking action hero. He's always rushing into battle with a cocky bravado and has a one-liner for virtually any situation. And since he shares so many similarities with the Star Wars character Han Solo, it's only appropriate that in my version of the story, he would be voiced by Harrison Ford.

Then of course, there is the biggest stars in terms of the marketing: 

3. The Dinobots.

Firstly, I wouldn't have them be prisoners aboard Lockdown's ship; it seems really stupid to me that a Transformer who is a fraction of the Dinobots size took down not just one, but ALL of them down pretty much singlehandedly. Secondly, they will have actual personalities and voices; Grimlock is the hot-headed leader who thrives in battle, Swoop is the good-natured spirit who likes having friends, Slug is a surly battle-freak who fights dirty, Snarl is the unsociable loner who generally leaves the thinking to the others, and Sludge is the mentally handicapped Dinobot who is extremely loyal to Grimlock. Thirdly, they wouldn't be an ancient order of knights who just happened to have beast modes that heavily resemble the dinosaurs.

Thus instead of that, since the original film has KSI creating drones based off of information garnered from Megatron's head, in this rewrite Blackrock Enterprises can be doing the same thing with Sentinel Prime's head as the main source, though some info will also be drawn from Starscream's. We'll come back to this later.

They can still be building drones for the military to fight against the Transformers if they ever pose a major threat, but they could also be focused on creating the drones to market towards the public to better the image of the Transformers. And their studies show that recently, the public has shown an increased interest in dinosaurs, so Blackrock sees this as an opportunity to create his own unique Transformers with alternate modes based on dinosaurs, hence the creation of five Dinobots as prototypes. This helps to give the Dinobots a proper backstory instead of a vague one we got in the film about them being knights, and also calls back to how the original Dinobots were created on Earth based on dinosaur fossils.

In one of the first scenes in the movie, we can see the Dinobots being demonstrated to investors by fighting off other drones that the company had created to show off their abilities. They can use newly developed energy cannons, they can have their own thermal swords that can cut through titanium, they can use flaming breath in their dinosaur modes; have fun with these guys and show off what they can do. This naturally has the investors excited, including Chumley who is here to see how Blackrock has done; Chumley can be revealed as the primary backer to the creation of the Dinobots, and we can have him share an exchange with Blackrock so that he can try using them to hunt down other Transformers in order to get more materials for Blackrock's research.

This is somewhat similar to the partnership between Attinger and Joyce in the original film, as well as the interactions between Chris Pratt and Vincent D'Onofrio in Jurassic World; only this time, Blackrock is more reluctant as the only Transformers left to hunt down are Autobots, who Blackrock knows were the good guys, hence why he's built the Dinobots and the other drones out of the remains of the Decepticons instead. Of course, Chumley wouldn't see that; as a soldier, he has a very "us or them" ideology. He dislikes all Transformers, and would rather have them all hunted down and displayed on his wall. Already we have some friction between the villain and deuteragonist, which also enforces the idea of trust and faith in those around you.

Getting back to the Dinobots, we can see them gaining some form of sentience throughout the film. Since they are still prototypes it's limited, hence why they talk in their traditional caveman manner of articulation. But through this, they gain the individual personalities that I brought up earlier. This can eventually lead to them breaking free from Blackrock, as they dislike any type of authority that they disagree with. The scientists have otherwise treated the Dinobots as brainless war machines, so it would make sense with how they would eventually escape and try to strike out on their own. As time goes on, the main threat of the film will show itself, which will force the Dinobots to team up with the Autobots so that they both can fight for their survival, eventually leading to the Dinobots begrudgingly joining the Autobots fully and seeing the value in protecting those weaker than them.

And I think that's where we'll cut it for now; I have an idea for who the villains are going to be (spoiler warning; it's not Galvatron), but I want to take more time in developing these ideas before I'm comfortable in writing them down.

But for now, I want to thank you guys for reading. If you enjoyed it, please be sure to leave a comment down below letting me know what you think. I'd also appreciate it if you share this on social media (Facebook, Twitter, etc), and make sure to follow me on Twitter; my handle is @MediaHood23. I post there at least a few times a week, and I regularly do polls for whenever I have writer's block. And if you feel generous, you can check out my YouTube page and consider subscribing to a virtually dead channel; that's "Media Hood Reviews" on YouTube.

But until next time; this is Callum Lewis, the Media Hood, signing off!