(SPOILER WARNING!!)
Sorry I cut that off last time; where were we?
Oh, right... that.
Yeah, Homeworld isn't completely ignorant about what's happening on Earth, and has thus sent out this scout ship filled with a team of Rubies. Just for simplicity, I'll call them by the names Steven gives them all in a later episode based on the placement of their Gems. So, we have Eyeball, Army, Navy, Leggy, and Doc. And the thing most of them have in common?
Well, to put it simply, they're morons. Doc can't keep track of the number of her team, Navy is exceedingly flighty, Army tries to punch everything she sees and Leggy is generally lost. At least they're acknowledged in-story as idiots.
And so, in this episode, "Hit the Diamond", the Crystal Gems pretend to be humans and trick them into a game of baseball, which they hope to win. There's just one little problem with that:
The Gems' initial plan was to supplant Ruby amongst the team and just stop them from searching the barn, thinking they're here for Peridot for insulting Yellow Diamond. But of course, that failed, and now Ruby and Sapphire are forced to be separated to keep up the trick. This would work if the two would just stop flirting with each other.
To once again borrow Des Shinta's unofficial (but slowly becoming official) catchphrase: Because, damn it, everything is gay about this!
And really, that's what makes this episode work for me; just seeing Ruby and Sapphire flirt with each other is nothing short of endearing or adorkable, which also helps with rounding out their personalities more. Even if I generally don't care for sports-themed episodes (as I never cared for sports, period), this was still really charming. Even Steven, when he's asking them to concentrate in order to win the last round of the game, can't help but admit they're cuteness personified.
But in the end, this whole venture was pointless, because when the Gems win the game and inadvertently reveal their identities, Peridot runs out and tells them to stop, only for the Rubies to reveal they weren't looking for her, but Jasper. They trick the Rubies into thinking that Jasper is on Neptune (again, because they're idiots) and they leave, with Eyeball...
Remember this!
So, which episode is next?
Oh yeah, Steven flying. Almost forgo-- Wait, what?
Steven has been a little homesick, so he's more than happy to back at the beach house. However, this seems to trigger his ability to float. To summarise, positive thoughts help him fly, but negative thoughts make him fall quicker. The entire predicament is basically just getting Steven back down to the ground without hurting him... and that's about all there is to it. Nothing special, but still a fun episode.
Sadly, however, we enter the ever so brief period of mediocrity with the next episode, "Dead Beat Dad"... though, this requires a bit of explanation before we do so.
Due to reviewing this show in a different style, there are some things I have missed in my previous reviews. For instance, there are episodes dedicated to showing more of Greg's past as an amateur rock star who gave up his dreams of success to stay with Rose, who was pretty much the only person to come to his poorly put together gigs, as well as expanding on Pearl's jealousy with how Greg so easily wooed Rose with just his guitar and a dated haircut.
Why am I bringing this up now? It's because of this guy:
Marty, the character first introduced in the Season 1 episode "Story for Steven", was Greg's manager in his early days as an upcoming rock star. He is also, as you could guess, an arrogant douchebag, using Greg as a means of pushing his own career up and looking down on everyone around him. This, of course, did not end well when Greg pushed him out of the van in the middle of the road for insulting Rose. As Greg so eloquently put it:
I'm bringing up Marty now, as he's actually part of the focus for this episode, wherein he's proceeding to do the exact same thing as before, this time using his "accident" of a son, Sour Cream, who has aspirations as a DJ. Marty, however, is using this as a means of forcing people to try out a new promotional soda, Guacacola. A.K.A: guacamole flavoured soda.
Well said, Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen.
Anyways, there is also this subplot focused around Sour Cream and his issues with his stepfather, Yellowtail, with how the latter would rather his stepson follow in his footsteps as a fisherman. Sour Cream is, of course, indignant about all of this, but comes to realise that Yellowtail just wants the best for him and stands up to Marty for his stepdad.
And frankly, as I previously had a strained relationship with my father due to learning of things that happened between him and my mum, I can say that patching up said relationships is not as simple as saying "Oh, they just wanted something different for me, that totally makes up for him looking down on my career choices". Because what was ultimately missing from this was a sense that Sour Cream hated Yellowtail, as opposed to the two just simply having different points of view. I admire the episode for tackling issues regarding fatherhood and what it means to really be a dad, but I felt that this was already done better with seeing Greg and how he earnestly and honestly tries to be a good influence for Steven, even when the two don't always see each other. Here, with Sour Cream, his stepdad is just a bit overzealous and his real dad is a general dick. I'm grateful that other side characters are getting more focus as opposed to just Connie and Greg, but there also has to be a solid foundation for their growth as characters in order for the audience to become invested. That's not the case here, as not much else is revealed about Sour Cream's character for us to really care.
Still, there ultimately is a patching between Yellowtail and Sour Cream, which at least still settles the issue that came between them, and there is one last thing that also sets up other episodes down the line.
Yeah, apparently Marty, due to being Greg's manager, still had rights to his song and re-branded it for a commercial for a Taco restaurant chain. As such, Greg has been given a share of the royalty fees (though I don't think that's how that works), making him obscenely rich. And this is the focus (of sorts) with "Mr Greg", where he and Steven decide to take a trip to Empire City, the show's equivalent to New York, and go all out with the money. One little problem with that:
Steven has noticed quickly that, while they don't seem to outright hate each other, there is an uneasy tension between Pearl and Greg, most likely due to Rose being gone and Pearl's feelings for her not being returned. As such, Steven uses this as the chance to help build a stronger bond between them.
And he does this, with musical numbers!... That's not a joke.
The Crewniverse really went all out with their songwriters in this episode, creating fun and memorable songs that give the feeling that we're watching an animated Broadway musical. Even right down to being set in a busy city with a wealthy man spending his money on his kid; it's practically straight out of "Chicago" or "Burlesque" with how colourful and imaginative it is. It also helps that the cast is comprised of really good singers. I especially love both "Don't Cost Nothing" and it's reprisal at the end of the episode.
The first thing Greg wanted to spend money on was Steven's college education. That is why he is best dad.
However, despite Pearl slowly warming up to the class and luxury, it eventually backfires:
As soon shown in the episode, Pearl's hesitance to even talk to Greg is out of regret for not being able to truly be the love of Rose's life, especially once Greg enters the picture and sooner or later, Steven turns up. Pearl is angry at herself for feeling so petty as to let her feelings for Rose fester into a hatred for Greg. And while her anger is somewhat deserved, she hasn't fully acknowledged that it was ultimately Rose's choice to have Steven. And through another touching musical number, Steven helps both Greg and Pearl realise something that they have in common: their love for Steven.
And with that, plus a no doubt massive bill to the hotel, the three head home, the friendship between Greg and Pearl finally allowed to grow.
Beautiful, just beautiful... anyone up for jokes about Peridot's height?
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