Transformers: The Headmasters (1987-1988)

(SPOILER WARNING... for a show that's about 30 years old!!)

As I'm still in my re-emerging Transformers craze thanks to Bumblebee, I think now would be a good time to talk about one of the stranger points the franchise in between G1 and Beast Wars; the Takara Trilogy.

This is referring to a trifecta of Transformers fiction that was originally released exclusively in Japan, carrying on from where G1's third season left off. In the same vain as was seen with Scramble City, this trilogy (comprising of The Headmasters, Super-God [or Chojin] Masterforce, and Victory) acted more of deviation from the traditional formula of Autobots and Decepticons (or Cybertrons and Destrons) with how their story is presented. But while Scramble City was essentially a prequel story for Trypticon (or Dinosaurer), The Headmasters acted as an alternate version of the American G1's "The Rebirth" three part finale to the series. Unlike "The Rebirth", however, the story was continued passed The Headmasters with how both the shows and the toylines were continually popular, with Masterforce being the most well received... at least, among fans.

Still, talking about The Headmasters will be tricky for at least 2 reasons;

1. There are not that many subs of the series (that I am currently aware of, at any rate), and I am not the best when it comes to judging the accuracy of the translation. Thus, the version I am reviewing is the one that came in the "Transformers: The Complete Takara Collection" boxset from 2007, which I only found at my local CeX by complete accident for £50 (steal of a deal, I'd say).

2. The Headmasters actually DID get some notoriety outside of Japan, when Omni Productions dubbed the series in Malaysia and Singapore and released it on the TV channel RTM 1. And the overall quality of the dub is... well:





Yeah, it's terrible. Infamously so. From the abysmal voice acting, to needless changes in dialogue, to the bizarre renames for major characters and plot Mcguffins (Fortress Maximus is renamed "Spaceship Bruce", for fucks sake); it proved to be one of the single worst "English" dubs for any anime ever. As such, I avoided watching it for this review so that I wouldn't have the terrible, not in any way matching voices stuck in my head as I watched it.

Still, even as I avoided this dub and tried to not let it cloud my judgement for this series, I still couldn't bring myself to actually like this show. Even with the crazier subplots and stories presented, I felt like I was wasting my time watching this series, as it simply refused to make the characters or their situations interesting.

Also, I'll be using the Japanese names for the characters despite the subtitles using the American ones.

With that said, what is The Headmasters even about?

Well, it has been a year since Convoy has returned, and the Destrons, lead once more by Galvatron, are back attacking Seibertron with their new servants; the Destron Headmasters of Weirdwolf, Skullcruncher, Mindwipe and their shadowed leader, Zarak. Due the Matrix of Leadership losing it's power, there's nothing keeping the Vector Sigma computer operating fluently, thus it may lead to the planet dying for good, which the Destrons use as the opportunity to attack the Cybertrons. What they did not expect, however, was the arrival of new Headmasters who have allied themselves to the Cybertrons; Chromedome, Hardhead, Brainstorm, Highbrow, and their leader operating from their ship the Maximus, Fortress. With Convoy dying... again... and Rodimus abandoning the Cybertrons when their planet gets blown up by Zarak (yes, seriously), Fortress is made leader and they continue the good fight with new toys being added to their forces every other week; chiefly, the Destron Ninja Six-Changer Sixshot, and Fortress acting as the head for the Spaceship Maximus to become... well, Fortress Maximus.

Now, from the outset, the first 3 or so episodes are not that bad. They act as a decent set-up to the basic plot-line of the show and there are some decent moments where we get a better glimpse at not just the personalities of the Headmasters, but their abilities as well. I actually like how they swap their heads in order augment their abilities in different ways. I also appreciate how it actually shakes up the status quo a little bit by not having Rodimus or Galvatron be the focus of antagonism, but instead building up the mystery behind Zarak and his machinations. Also, Sixshot is easily the best character in the show, with how he shows himself as a legitimate threat, but still has a sense of honour and grace. He's isn't just run of the mill evil.

But sadly, that's pretty much where the good stuff of this begins and ends, as the rest can be chalked down to either filler or plain stupid.

And it all begins with THESE two nimrods!



Look; I never liked Daniel or Wheelie. They just felt like unnecessary additions to an already colourful and entertaining cast of characters. Whenever they were the focus of an episode, they would often end up being the worst part of it, as their stupid antics would eventually grate on you. That said, while I didn't like them, I wouldn't say they were outright awful characters. At the very least, their inclusion in the story didn't supersede the importance of the rest of the cast whenever said cast were the focus of an episode. They were certainly more pivotal to the narrative then Blurr was.

But with Headmasters, there weren't any other characters that I wanted to see killed off more than these two. While they didn't supersede anyone in G1's third season, they pretty much become the main fucking characters in Headmasters, with how a majority of their antics are not only annoying, but they took time away from the actual plot of the episode just to focus on some stupid shit they would be doing. For instance, a plan to stop an asteroid from destroying the Earth stops, comes to a complete fucking halt for a few minutes... because Fortress tries to stop Daniel crying by making some silly faces... fucking, REALLY?!



This not only robs any tension or suspense the episode may have previously had, but also paints Fortress, the newly christened and dignified leader of the Cybertrons, as wasteful idiot too busy focused on stopping this little bastard from throwing a hissy fit! Daniel's very presence in this show is robbing the cast of it's dignity! Made worse by the fact that Daniel is apparently the ONLY person who could stop this asteroid, thus the entire story pauses for a few seconds just because it's waiting for Daniel to get off of his lazy fucking ass and do his goddamn job!

What. A fucking. Joke!

Then again, Daniel robbing the dignity of the cast could be worse if any of the Headmasters had any kind of endearing personalities. But instead, the Headmasters, at least in this iteration, have to some of the blandest, most generic characters in the entire franchise. They're just "the good guys". That's about it. Oh, they try to give some kind of quirks to them to have them stand out from each other, but not in any way that gives us a chance to even know who they are. Chromedome? He's just the hot head who charges first and asks questions never. Hardhead? The bruiser who likes fighting. Brainstorm? I guess, the science guy? It's never made clear. Hell, I can't even describe Highbrow's personality, because they didn't even bother to give him one. He's just the guy who turns into a helicopter and will sometimes shoot something. How can I care about what these characters are doing if I don't even care about they are?

Same goes for the new villains, especially Zarak. Zarak has to be the most bare bones villain in ANYTHING I've seen in this franchise. He wants to destroy stuff, because:



With an extra dose of:



I couldn't choose between the two, so I included both. You're welcome.

And that's not even getting into how ridiculously stupid some of the filler plots can be. And when I say filler, I don't mean the good filler that's actually used to get to know the characters and enjoy our time with them. No, I'm talking about Steven Universe Season 4 type of filler; the filler that just exists to lengthen the list of episodes in a given series. Just for an example, there is an episode where the Headmasters encounter an alien planet. And the inhabitants... are Bees.



It was either that or the "Not the Bees" scene from Wicker Man. Take your pick.

And most of these filler plots just follow the same formula; someones/somethings in danger, go save that someone/something, Daniel and Wheelie antics, vague moral lesson, never call back to the event. Lather, rinse, repeat. There is such little continuity in this series, that I forgot what either the Cybertrons or Destrons want. At least with Zarak, I get him; destroy because evil. But everyone else? What purpose do they serve? What role do they serve? How do their actions affect the narrative? Do they have an end goal to any of the random shit that happens in this show?

The answer to all of these questions is, of course:



By the end of the series, very little was actually accomplished. In fact, it kind of felt like everything just went backwards, and I ultimately feel like I know LESS about these characters. And frankly, the less I know about Daniel and Wheelie, the better!

Overall, I won't say that The Headmasters is terrible, but there is one word to describe it overall. Or rather, one song:



Even with my frustrations with Daniel and Wheelies pointless shit, or the subplots being ridiculous in their presentation, I was just in a constant state of boredom. I probably could've skipped over this show entire and missed absolutely NOTHING by the end of it. As of writing this, I am at least 12 or so episodes in Masterforce, the series that comes canonically The Headmasters. And even though I think the "Headmaster Jr" stuff is just a dumb excuse to have kids be the heroes, the show thus far has been far more entertaining and well written than The Headmasters. I actually want to keep watching Masterforce, whereas I really struggled to get through Headmasters before turning it off and watching something else.

So, take my opinion for what it's worth, but I just can't recommend Headmasters, either to die hard fans or casual viewers.

Overall rating: 5/10 (BOOOOOOOOOOOOORIIIIIIIIIIIIING!)

Thanks for reading, and until next time: This is Callum Lewis, the Media Hood, signing off!

P.S: The theme song, as well as most of the music in Headmasters, sucks.